When You’re Struggling With God’s Will For Your Life

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Encouragement for when you are struggling with The Lord's Plan for your life.

We’ve all been there. In between jobs. Or selecting the right school. Or going through the break up. Or considering marriage. Or choosing the right career. Or dealing with the job that you hate. Or losing everything. The overwhelming heartbreak of feeling lost and not knowing what to do. You feel like your heart is all locked up. How could a God who loves us unconditionally put us in a situation where there is hurt and confusion and an abundance of tears?

I myself have been left thinking, “God, what is your plan for me? What do you want with me because right now I feel like my prayers are just hitting the ceiling and bouncing right back to echo in my heart. Why have you chosen me for this job? Surely someone else could glorify your kingdom better?”

I’ve struggled with Gods will plenty of times. And I bet you have, too. The good news about struggling with what God wants for our life is that we aren’t alone.

In fact, Jesus, perfect Jesus, struggled with the will of His father. And if the perfect person can share that struggle with us, you know flawed humanity is not gonna have it easy.

Remember the story in Matthew 26 of Jesus praying in the Garden of Gethsemane just before his trial and crucifixion? I love that story because it gives us perspective into Jesus’ humanity. Jesus tells the disciples about his sadness “My soul is succeeding sorrowful…” (vs. 38) as he enters the garden to speak to his father. I know I personally feel the most lonely when I’m struggling with God’s will for my own life. When I think about Jesus in the garden alone, facing the most fearful experience anyone could ever imagine, my heart breaks in two. Jesus struggled with God’s will as he faced the act that saved our souls. Jesus prayed “O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt” (vs. 39)

I find myself praying in the same way when I’m struggling with the Lord’s will for my life. “God, not my will, but thine be done.”

I also love the story of Lazarus’ death and resurrection found in John 11. To me, this is a story that leaves me wondering more about Jesus as a person and how He shared similar emotions as we do. Scripture tells us that Jesus knew Lazarus was dead even before he spoke with Mary and Martha. In John 11:11-14, Jesus explains to the disciples that Lazarus is dead, and needs to be woken. However, later on in the scripture, when Jesus is led to the grave site of his friend, we are told “Jesus wept.” (vs. 35). There are two reactions from the people that observed Jesus’ tears, these reactions follow in verses 36 and 37. “Then the Jews said, “See how he loved him!”” (vs. 36) “But some of them said, “Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?”” (vs. 37)

As a mere mortal, I’m curious as to what it was exactly that made Jesus cry that day, too. And I can’t help but wonder if it’s because he was struggling with Gods will. Jesus knew his friend was dead, and knew that somehow it would glorify the Lord “This sickness will not end in death. No it is for God’s glory so that God’s son may be glorified through it.” (vs. 4)

I can’t help but wonder if Jesus struggled with the fact that his friend died as part of God’s will. Maybe that’s why Jesus wept.

I can’t help but wonder if Jesus questioned himself and the Lords plan when Martha said to Jesus, “If you had been here, my brother would not have died” (vs. 21) Maybe that’s why Jesus wept.

I can’t help but wonder if Jesus was certain that raising Lazarus from the dead truly was the will of the Lord. Maybe that’s why Jesus wept.

I can’t help but wonder if Jesus stood in front of his friend’s tomb and thought “if only I had turned left instead of right.” Maybe that’s why Jesus wept.

I can’t help but wonder if Jesus stood there among friends that would soon yell “crucify him” and saw Lazarus’ death and resurrection as foreshadowing to God’s will for his own life. And maybe that’s why Jesus wept.

And maybe those are questions we’ll never know the answer to on this side of Heaven. And maybe we’ll never know the reasons were struggling with the plans for our own lives. But friend, know that you aren’t alone in your struggle. Know that even the King of Kings had his moments of fear and sorrow when struggling with Gods will for his life.

How do you cope when you’re struggling with God’s will for your life? How has God shown up and shown off for you?

“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6


Love,
Cassie, RN


An Open Letter to My Little Brother

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An Open Letter to My Little Brother

Little Brother,

Your very existence sparked every creative intuition and energy I have ever had. You are the reason I love to spin stories, beginning with the legend of your birth: “My Brother, The Alien” (New York Times Best Seller in my head!) And once, I took a photography class and you were the subject of my portfolio. In a way, you’ve always been my subject. I have watched you grow and push boundaries to new limits. You have given me approximately one hundred mild heart attacks as I’ve watched the dare devil in you rise to the surface. You are my biggest opponent when it comes to wrestling in the kitchen floor, but my best ally when it comes to our friendship.


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Brother, to the untrained eye you are as solemn as a grave site. But I know better. Over the years, you have induced some of my biggest fits of laughter – and then you tease my laugh. Your sense of humor is unique and special. You challenge me to stop and slow down because I am constantly racing. You have always had more wisdom than I know what to do with. Your life has shown me about Jesus more than I ever could have imagined a younger brother could teach an older sister. I am often amazed by the truth you speak and left wondering how one heart can have so much instinctive goodness.

Growing up, I loved having a brother, but often wished that you were older than me. So many of my friends had older brother that were as protective as guard dogs. Then, one day, without warning, you became the protective older brother, despite me being five years your senior. You guarded my heart and refused to let anyone take advantage of it. Little Brother, it was my job to protect you! But you took the role seriously, and still do to this day. I can never thank you enough for being my personal security guard.


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Little Brother, I wish I could bottle up this time of your life and place it on a shelf, because it is so fragile. This newness of adulthood is exciting and filled with adventure. The novelty of being a “grown up” has not yet been doused with the cynicism of this hateful world. I wish you could live in this realm forever. But because that is not realistic, I pray you dream wider than your arms can stretch. I pray that you will grab any boundaries that are set by this world and shove them out of the way. My desire for your life is for you to do more than change the world; take bits and pieces of this Earth and leave your mark on them. Then show the rest of the inhabitants of this planet what they’re missing out on. I know what you’re capable of, even if you do not. Don’t be afraid to fall. I’ll catch you every time.

Bub, I gave you your first black eye, and you didn’t even cry. I am so proud to be the big sister of a tough as nails adventurer. Brother, you are a fearless leader. Nothing scares you! And while my instincts to be your “second mother” are so strong that I want to suppress your courageous nature, I would never dream of it. This internal boldness is so much a part of you I could never imagine you being any less brave. I pray that this daring innate quality you possess lasts a lifetime and follows you into each and every opportunity you stumble across. You are the son of ministry, of courage, of kindness, and of exploration. Brother, take this world by storm. Leave no stone unturned.


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You are the boy man (I’m still coming to terms with the fact my little brother is now grown!) with a big heart, and a bigger imagination that no one has quite mastered yet. I pray you are the captain of a ship with a quest to show the world the capabilities of the anonymous. I hope you’ll let me be first mate.

“Let brotherly love continue.” – Hebrews 13:1


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All my love, and then some,
Cassie, RN



If You Leave the Mountains

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If You Leave the Mountains - a letter of encouragement for if you decide to leave home
Image Credit Corissa Riffe

Dear Friend,

I believe our mountains are the most beautiful landscape God sculpted into His Earthly Kingdom. These mountains are home to more than just coal, lumber, and wildlife. These mountains house the most kind hearted, faithful, and friendly people you will ever meet. I’m convinced the Lord must love us a little extra. Why else would He have us live in a land that is a constant embrace?

But friend, there may come a day when you will have to leave our mountains. That day will move your heart in ways that cannot be described by mere words. Your heart will quiver with anticipation and excitement at the opportunities coming your way. And then your heart will crumble because you will leave behind everything you’ve ever known.

But your journey is just beginning, and while it will be a breathtaking adventure, there will also be days you feel like the wind has been knocked out of you. On those days you will need the strength these hills have instilled in you. Your values, your morals, your beliefs have been sewn into you and rooted deeply. You have heard the voice of God in these mountains as often as you’ve heard it in the church house. These mountains made you who you are. You know it’s not easy leaving home, but You’re strong enough for this.

Over the years, outsiders have stopped realizing how capable the people of our mountains truly are. We have been stripped of many opportunities and without you to show them, people will forget who we are. You are leaving these mountains to new uncharted territory that we are unfamiliar with. But you go with a mission, not with a vengeance. Go catch every chance you can. Learn. Explore. Dream. Grow. And later, come home to these hills and show us everything you’ve conquered along the way and how you can help us develop. You’re not leaving because you don’t love our home. Trust me, I know.

Friend, you will move mountains. And I mean that literally. We are mountain people, and we are all the more beautiful because of it. As you go out into the world, I want you to move mountains to the forefront of peoples minds when they think of successful individuals. Go out there and show them how intelligent we are, show them how special we are, impress them with our heritage, and please don’t ever let them change the way you speak. Trust me, they will try. Down the road, when you look back at our mountains, promise me you won’t look back at them with anything less than pride. Because these mountains have given you everything they have to offer.

These mountains are where you were raised. You fell in love in these hills. This is where your family is. Your friends call this place home. The mountains sing to you. No matter where you roam, nothing will ever compare to Eastern Kentucky. Our mountains made you. Now go out there and show this world what you’re made of.

I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the Lord, which made heaven and earth. Psalms 121:1-2

Love,

Cassie, RN


Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me When I Was in High School

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A few weeks ago, I had the opportunity to talk to some High Schoolers who are beginning their path to a career in Health Care. We talked about being the best version of themselves and how to pave their way through the dark and twisty road of high school and beyond. Here are a few we discussed and some I added later on. Maybe they’ll inspire you whether you’re in High School or not.

 

Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me When I Was In High School

1 – If you must impress someone, strive to impress your teachers, not your peers. Your teachers could care less about the clothes you wear, how perfect your hair is every day, and what party you went to over the weekend. However, they do care if you show up to their class and are attentive. Show up, every single day. Pay attention. Be respectful. Impress your teachers by being someone that others can count on. In the end, their opinions will matter far more than your classmates’ opinions of you will.

2 – You don’t actually have to be an orthopedic surgeon, just because you said you’re going to be an orthopedic surgeon. In high school, I was dead set on becoming an orthopedic surgeon, so I really struggled with the calling to become a nurse. If someone had sat me down in High School and told me that I didn’t have to commit to a career then and there, it would have saved me some grief down the road. (Although, I probably wouldn’t have believed anyone, anyway) No one will think less of you if you don’t go to medical school. In fact, if you start out saying you’re interested in medicine, and don’t even go down the Health Care path, no one will judge you. You can change your mind a million times before you actually have to commit to a career if you so choose. But if you’re ready to commit now, by all means, go for it!

3- One or two low grades in High School won’t jeopardize your seat in medical school, pharmacy school, dental school, nursing school, etc. Listen carefully here though. You don’t have to be Valedictorian to land the spot in your dream career program, but the habits you begin to develop in High School will follow you into college, grad school, career and beyond. Don’t slack off, but don’t panic if your GPA isn’t perfect. Your sanity is worth more than a 4.0.

4 – Don’t be funny at someone else’s expense. If you must laugh at someone, laugh at yourself. Trust me, people will like you more if the only person you make fun of is you. This world has too many bullies and bad guys. Be the light. Kindness matters more. And anyone who laughs at someone with you, will likely laugh at you as well.

5 – There is nothing in this world like your first heartbreak. But you will survive this. And sweet friend, this was not love, but love is waiting on you somewhere. Pray for your future spouse every chance you get.

6 – And on that note, Don’t ruin friendships because you think it’s love. And if you don’t take this advice, at least promise me you will really, really think about the consequences and how you’ll feel if this friendship is ruined before moving forward with it.

7 – Don’t spread yourself too thin. High School is stressful enough without having one million things on your plate. I 100 percent think you should get involved, but limit yourself to a couple things instead of every single thing your school offers. Find something you are passionate about and chase it passionately. You’ll actually have the time you want to invest in it and do everything else you need to do as well. From a chronic people pleaser, trust me on this one.

8 – Be the kind of friend you want to have. It’s as simple as treating others the way you want to be treated. Be loyal, be kind.

What do you wish someone had told you when you were in High School? Is there anything you would add to my list?

“Get wisdom, get understanding: forget it not; neither decline from the words of my mouth.” Proverbs 4:5

Love,

Cassie, RN

Things My Pap Taught Me

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I’ve been truly blessed to grow up in tight knit family. As long as I’ve lived, I’ve always had a close relationship with my grandparents. I genuinely believe they are some of the best people to ever grace this Earth. I’ve learned a lot from my Pap over the years, but I wanted to share some of my favorite lessons.

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1- Generous Tipping. My pap knows a hard worker when he sees one. He recognizes individuals who work tirelessly to better their situations. I love going out to eat with my Pap because of the respect he shows to the staff. He tips generously, with a glad heart. Rather than leave the cash on the table, my Pap takes the extra effort to shake the hand of the employee and thank them for a job well done. A true gentleman.

2- How to speak to The Lord. Since I was a little girl, I have always modeled my own prayer after how my Pap prays. I’ve watched him respectfully remove his hat before bowing his head to talk to God. I’ve heard my Pap speak to Jesus as often as I’ve heard him speak to his friends. Pap is always thankful, and in every prayer asks the Father for forgiveness where we’ve failed Him, because we fail Him daily. I find myself often praying in the same way.

3- Never be without a Bible. My Pap worked in the deep mines for the greatest part of my childhood. He recently told me about how he always carried a New Testament Bible into the mines with him. Imagine what a testimony that would carry. Pap was always prepared if a man decided to follow Jesus while deep in the ground. At our Pinning Ceremony, each graduate received a small New Testament Bible, donated by The Gideons. My Pap encouraged me to include it with my other supplies and ensure it goes with me as I care for patients.

4- To speak kind words. I have never in my life heard my Pap speak an ill word toward anyone. I’ve never heard him judge another person as long as I’ve lived. Through his example, I’ve been shown the importance of kindness. My pap is a goodhearted man, but he is also as stubborn as the day is long.
5- How to deal with disappointment. As a preschooler, my Pap took me to breakfast at Hardees every single day without fail. And every single day, I ordered French Toast Sticks. Until one day, the lady behind the counter tells me they no longer sell French Toast Sticks. My heart broke that day. I just know my eyes welled up with tears. But my Pap encouraged me to see this disappointment as an opportunity to try something new. “Try something else instead.”, he said. And I did.

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What lessons are cherished in your family? How do these lessons apply to your life?

“But the mercy of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting upon them that fear him, and his righteousness unto children’s children;” Psalm 103:17

Love,

Cassie, RN

Hello From The Other Side: An Open Letter to The New Nursing Student from a Recent Nursing Grad

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AN OPEN LETTER TO THE NEW NURSING STUDENT

 

Hello friend,

Congratulations on your acceptance to a nursing program! And welcome to the next chapter of your life. A chapter filled with blood, sweat, and tears; and textbooks, scrubs, late nights, and laughter. Welcome to the beginning of your story.

As a recent nursing graduate, I would like to shed a little light on your next couple of years. Something I wish someone had done for me.

The men and women who you meet in nursing school will change your life. Let them. You will be tempted to look at them as your competition, don’t. Instead of seeing your classmates as enemies, see them as your comrades in arms. Treat them as your brothers and sisters. Love them, laugh with them, learn with them. You might just make a friend or two along the way. Trust me, there are enough A’s to go around for everyone and there will be enough other stuff to become bitter towards. Don’t waste your time and energy competing with one another. Classes that are close to one another are typically more successful.

Prepare for battle. Arm yourself with post it notes, highlighters, and your favorite pens. Bring your God given intelligence to class every single day and then work even harder. And seriously, show up to class every single day. Think about the day you’re caring for real patients and you’ll be wishing you hadn’t skipped the lecture on fluid volume overload. There will be days you will write notes until your head spins, and your eyes cross, and your hand cramps. On those days, grip your pen a little tighter and keep fighting.

Friend, I don’t know you’re going through at this moment, or what challenges you’ll face as you endure your nursing program, but the Good Lord knows. I’m telling you, there must be something about nursing school that causes everything else in your life to go haywire. But He knows your struggle, lean on Him and He will get you through to the end. Trust me, I’m living proof of that. When you’re scared, pray. When you’re stressed, pray. When your heart breaks for the patient you are assigned on day one of clinical, pray. And don’t stop.

Befriend your teachers. No one wants you to pass more than they do. Except maybe your mom. Don’t be afraid to ask them questions. You’ll feel more stupid not knowing than getting the information you need. Accept that they don’t actually know everything, no one does. And one amazing thing about nursing is that it is a field with a hundred different specialities and the fiend is constantly changing. Treat them like people and they will treat you like people. Once my teacher walked in on my lunch time rapping performance and it was totally fine and hilarious.

Nursing school is a constant battle, a huge challenge that often seems impossible. But I’m here on the other side to tell you it is possible. My classmates and I survived nursing school while working, moving, recovering from burn injuries, family emergencies, switching jobs, heart conditions, deaths in the family, raising children, and so much more. It can be done. And when you think you can’t, dig in your heels and find the “thing” deep inside of you that inspires you most. And don’t let it slip through your fingers.

Friend, you are capable of being successful in your nursing program. Trust me when I say the years that are approaching will be some of the most unforgettable, challenging, and rewarding years of your life. There will be days you  wake up and cry because you have a test in a couple hours. There will be days your stomach aches from laughing so hard because your classmates are hilarious. There will be days you wonder how you’ve made it on such little sleep. There will be days when you know your blood pressure is through the roof because you’re so stressed. And then there will be the day you are pinned  as a nurse and the battle was so, so, so worth it. And maybe one day,  there will be a day when you and I will work on the same floor and together we will hold the hands of our patients in their hardest days. Until then, best of luck on your educational journey.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

Love,

Cassie, RN

How Could Jesus Do Your Job Better?

Posted on by Cassie

It all started a couple weeks ago…

I said my typical daily prayer on my way to work and asked The Good Lord to guide my hands and give me a good attitude. I was exhausted on my way to work, after a long week of school. I felt tired, and emotionally insufficient. When I prayed, I begged God to give me a heart that loves people the way He loves people.

Very first patient of the day needed their foot wrapped, and I immediately dreaded it. (Seriously, no one likes feet.) I walked into the room with an attitude that was less than gracious, but something triggered inside of me when I entered the room. It was as if the Lord said, “Cassie, Jesus washed feet, if He washed feet, you are not too good to wrap this foot.” After that, my perspective changed. I thought to myself: How Could Jesus Do My Job Better?

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For starters, He would have a kind heart to even the most tattered and torn toes. He would have walked into that exam room with dressing in hand, opened arms, and a glad heart. Jesus’ heart would not have hardened like mine had in the first instant. And I am so thankful he turned my heart to him and reminded me of this scripture:

“If I then, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet; ye also ought to wash one another’s feet.For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you. Verily, verily, I say unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord; neither he that is sent greater than he that sent him.If ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do them.” John 14:13-17

Jesus could do my job better because He would wash feet with a cheerful heart and be blessed because of it.

Often times, the clinic becomes incredibly busy. If you ever see me working on a weekend, you’ll see me running around like a chicken with their head cut off. It can be very stressful, and my mind often races with an ever growing to do list of patient needs. When a patient asks for a glass of water, my first reaction used to be less than enthusiastic. However, when I consider how Jesus could do my job better, I am reminded that although I may give a patient a glass of water, Jesus gives living water, which is exponentially more beneficial.

“But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life.”  John 4:14

As a nurse, I may hand a patient a glass of water to relieve their thirst, but Jesus does my job so much better by giving anyone who asks, the gift of living water; eternal life.

As a nurse, the most basic job description I could offer would be to help promote healing. Whether that is through administering medications, cleaning wounds, or giving injections, I am assisting patient’s in their healing. But Jesus could do my job so much better because He is the Great Physician. While I can help promote healing, I can never provide the healing power that our Lord Jesus can. Jesus can do my job better because He can truly heal.

“And Jesus said, Somebody hath touched me: for I perceive that virtue is gone out of me.And when the woman saw that she was not hid, she came trembling, and falling down before him, she declared unto him before all the people for what cause she had touched him, and how she was healed immediately. And he said unto her, Daughter, be of good comfort: thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace.” Luke 8:46-48

My touch will never heal, but Jesus’ hands truly heal. 

I find an amazing amount of comfort that Jesus could do my job better than I can. From here on out, my daily prayer not only begs Our Lord to let me love people like He loves people, but also allows me to thank Him for doing my job better and guiding my hands and heart to become a better nurse.

So let me ask you, How could Jesus do your job better? Because I know He can. Because in the end, it isn’t about me or you, or even about our patients (What?). Instead, it’s about doing the work for His Kingdom. And the hands and feet of Jesus are blistered, callused, and dirty. Let your work look more like His. How can you show others more of Him in your life?

I pray that Jesus does your job better than you do. I pray that Jesus guides you to be more like him, in your career and in  all aspects of your existence.

“He must increase, but I must decrease. He that cometh from above is above all: he that is of the earth is earthly, and speaketh of the earth: he that cometh from heaven is above all.” John 3:30-31

How is Jesus doing your job better? How can you show the world you are Christ like?

Love,

cassie

3 Reasons I’m Afraid to Graduate & 3 Reasons I’m not

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Last week was my last week of Nursing School! I know what you’re thinking, how is that even possible? The last two years have gone by so quickly! And while it was difficult, it was also really fun, rewarding, and a time in my life that is so special to my heart. However, with Graduation quickly approaching, my heart as found some new anxieties to latch on to and keep me up at night.

graduation fears

1- I’ve never not been a student. When you’re a student, you’re a “pretend adult”. Sure you still have bills, and a job, but because you’re in school everyone knows you’re still in the process of getting your life together. To me, there’s something comforting about this stage of life. All I’ve ever known is textbooks, homework, and deadlines. I won’t know what to do with the extra time and loss of structure. I don’t do well with change, so it’s scary for me to completely close one chapter of my life to begin another. There is comfort in the schedule that I’ve become accustomed to. Graduation feels like I’m stepping out of my comfort zone and into a new skin.

2- Boards. I don’t care what profession you’re in, boards are scary. The test that determines if you’re allowed to start your career. It’s intimidating and terrifying. When I think about taking the NCLEX, doubt haunts me. What if I go into the test and forget everything? What if all my friends pass and I fail? What if all my questions are select all that apply? What if it takes me 6 hours to take the exam? What it? What it? What if? This is the test we’ve been talking about  for the past two years. Facing it seems like a giant quest to destroy the ring or preparing to defeat he who shall not be named. To me, it’s the stuff that nightmares are made of.

3- New independence. For the past two years, I’ve had my teachers to depend on. I had them to answer my questions, ease my fears, and clarify information. If I needed an extra hand, I had a classmate nearby.. Graduation means this source of help is pushing me out of the nest and waiting to see if I fly or fall. The past two years, my care plans have been graded, graduation means my care plans will no longer be marked up in red ink, but patient outcomes will matter even more. I’m afraid of the independence that graduation brings, because what if I’m not ready?

But thankfully, for all the reasons I am afraid to graduate, I’m equipped with a reason not to be afraid.

1- “For God hath not given us a spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7

As scary as it is for me to close this chapter and move to a new one, my God didn’t give me a spirit of fear. Instead, He grants me power and love! Though change is a fearful process for me to go through, the same power that rose Jesus from the grave lives inside of me. With that kind of boldness inside of me, there is no room for me to be timid.

2- “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”

Growing up, if I was ever nervous about a test, Mom and Dad would tell me “If you do your part and study, you can trust that The Lord will do the rest.” The same is true with the NCLEX. I know I don’t have to be afraid of it, because I’ve spent the last 2 years  preparing for it and I’ll spend the next few weeks studying my guts out. I know if I do my part by studying, the Lord will do his part by calming my nerves and opening my mind for the knowledge I need.

3- “Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.” Isaiah 41:10

Thankfully, The Lord comes with us wherever we go. This means He was with me at school, in clinical, in my car, in my home, at work, and everywhere else I’ve been. (Although those have been my big hang out spots during Nursing School, in case you were wondering) This also means that when I begin my career, Our God will be with me in each shift, each medication pass, each phone call to the physician, each code, each abnormal lab value, and everywhere in between. Because He goes with me, I don’t have to be fearful.

Fellow graduates, regardless what your career is, I pray that your own fears can be squashed by the Word of God. I pray that you feel proud of yourself and see the beauty of your accomplishment and I pray that your achievement reflects the goodness of Our Lord.

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“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear…” 1 John 4:18

What are your graduation related fears? How are you overcoming them?

Love,

cassie

Our Baking Sheets Aren’t New Anymore

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baking sheets - final

One evening last week, I was washing dishes after dinner. I noticed our baking sheets, that are barely 2 years old, don’t look “new” anymore. Their fresh-from-the-store shine is now dull. They have scratches like road maps. Grease stains, discolorations, and an imprint from a recent “very crispy” dinner. When I first noticed their newness was missing, I was sad. Drew and I celebrate two years of marriage this August, we received these baking pans as gifts. I immediately felt guilty – like I had been too rough with our baking sheets.

On our recent cruise, Drew and I attended a newlyweds game show with every intention of participating if selected. However, when we arrived, we found out that we hadn’t been married long enough, but we also weren’t “new enough” to participate in the show. I felt sad then because we were no longer considered new, and that feeling crept into my heart when I saw those (no longer new) baking sheets.
My heart broke because they weren’t new anymore, their sparkle had worn off, they seemed less “special”. Then my perspective changed…

What a blessing it is that our baking sheets aren’t new anymore.

Our scratched and scuffed baking sheets are evidence that there has been love in our home as we’ve wanted to cook and eat together. The shine was dulled each time Drew continued to pursue my heart, by making me dinner after a long shift. Each time I experimented with a new recipe, hoping Drew would love it, our baking sheet received another scratch, a tick mark, reflecting another smile on his face. We have longed for time spent at home over delicious meals. We’ve made sharing dinner time a priority. We have eaten wonderful home cooked meals together and our not so new baking sheets are a sign of that.

These now dented baking pans are proof that we have lived in a house with electricity, and always had enough to put food on the table. Our stained baking sheets are evidence that our basic needs have been met over the past couple of years. You could tell by looking at our baking sheets, that we’ve not went hungry.  The collection of “damage” we’ve succumbed these baking sheets to reveals that the contents of our fridge were never empty. Our hearts and bellies have been full, as evidenced by the baking sheets that no longer shine. I’m sure there are families that wish their own baking sheets had a little more stains and a little less sparkle.

Our baking sheets are also a reflection of our marriage. New and shiny at first, and then the scuffs and stains along the way, make them all the more charming. Each scratch, a memory etched in time. They’ve survived even the saltiest of my cooking fails, at the same time our marriage has endured my salty comebacks. And while the gleam of freshness may have worn off, those baking pans, like  our marriage, are just as beautiful as the day they were presented to us.

Even if the newness of the baking sheets has rubbed off, they’ve been well loved. And like baking sheets, the scuffs, bangs, dents, scratches, and stains that have occurred in our relationship tell a delicious story about who we are and what we cherish. An artifact for years to come from the first year and a half of our marriage. Trust me, these baking sheets aren’t being replaced anytime soon.

And while many people would wish you a marriage free from dents and scratches, I won’t wish you that, because I know it is not realistic. Instead, I wish for you to see those stains and discolorations and love them even more for their imperfections. Here’s hoping the sparkle on your baking sheets wears off real soon.

“I am my beloved’s, and my beloved is mine…” Song of Solomon 6:3

Are your baking sheets well loved? What stories do they tell?

Love,

cassie

To the Kind of Nurse I Want To Be:

Posted on by Cassie

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To the kind of nurse I want to be:

I see you. I see you clogging through the halls in your danskos.  Your hair perfectly styled at the beginning of the shift has since been pulled into a messy bun. I see your pocketful of pens and highlighters. I see you analyzing labs and planning interventions. I see you predicting outcomes and calling doctors. I see how you interact with patients and make them laugh and smile. I see you.

And in you, I see the kind of nurse I want to be. I see my own pair of scuffed white nursing clogs, my own ponytail, my own pockets filled with my own favorite pens. I see you and I dream of having the instincts you have to analyze labs and predict outcomes. I pray that one day my hands won’t shake when I dial the number of a physician in the middle of the night. I hope that my patients respond as well to me as they do you. I see you, and I want to be you.

I see you, and I hope you see me too. I hope you see that this world is so new to me, so startling and surprising but somehow also magical. I hope you see that my eyes are wide in anticipation to learn and grow. I hope you see me trying my hardest and doing my very best. I hope you see that I’m still learning, but that I never want to stop learning. I hope you see that I care. I hope you see me.

I hope you see me, and I hope when you see me, you see yourself. I hope you see your own brand new scrubs and new danskos. I hope you see the first time you ever truly understood the meaning behind lab values. I hope you see yourself the first time you didn’t have to google the name of a generic drug to remember it’s trade name. I hope you see me and see your own first victory dance after a series of successful IVs.

So to the kind of nurse I want to be, when you see me, I hope you’ll smile and encourage me. Teach me something that will make me better. Don’t expect me to know it all, but do have high expectations of me. Let me take the lead every now and then. Let me show you how much I know. When you correct me, do it with kindness. When I make a mistake, show me the correct way to do it for next time. Share with me everything this profession has given to you, I’ll hang on to every detail. Don’t leave out a thing, I’m listening.

I see you, and I hope you see me, too. You’re the kind of nurse I want to be. Don’t forget that.

 “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.” Matthew 5:16

Love,

cassie